Tuesday, March 5, 2013

St Patrick day story

Misfit Island pet mom


For me dear Ol’ Ma, on patty’s day.                                                

While walking home one evening I stumbled upon a leprechaun passed out in a Bush, what luck,  I thought once he sees  I’ve caught him he’ll have to give me his pot of gold.  I roused the little fella “gotcha!” I said    “I lassie that ya do indeed” he said while rubbing his brow.  “I’ll gladly take ye to me pot O’ gold, but first could ya be kind enough n let me stop at ol’ Mary’s diner for a bit of corned beef and cabbage?”.  “Why not, I said you look like you could use a bite”.  So off we went my little green gold mine and me.  Who knew a leprechaun’s could eat so much, I thought. After an hour so, I had to usher my little bank account outside so we could continue on our journey to find my gold.
We started walking again.  “Oh my dear lass” He said “I’m feelin a bit parched’ as he put his tiny hand on his throat ”would ya be mindin if we popped into this pub for a pint?, “Then will be off again. “I promise ye” he begged .
“Oh okay then, but just one”.I cautioned.  So we sat down in the crowded pub ordered two pints, when they arrived  my leprechcon raised a toast to me and my good for fortune.  Just as I leaned down to click his glass.  He jumped up to click mine and Bam!  Hit me right in the forehead.  I went down like a sack of Irish potatoes.  When I woke sometime later, I had been enlisted onto an Irish drinking team .Ding!, a bell rang and my teammate nudged me, soon pints of beer slid in front of us.  We downed them as fast as we could, one after the other.  It seemed to go on and on.  Finally, another bell ding!  We won! we won !said my little green companion. “Ye are me very own good luck charm lass. “
Guess what we won…. yup more pints. Quickly I realized I needed to unload all that beer, while I waited in the long line for the ladies room.  I started hopping around trying to hold my bladder. Unfortunately my tiny drinking buddy thought I was dancing and dragged me by my pant leg onto the dance  floor to do the Jig. Whirling and reeling around and around,  I could feel all that beer sloshing around in my stomach.  Well I had enough.  I pulled my little friend away. “ Let’s go” I said
  I fed you, paid for all these drinks now let’s go get my gold.”
“Make me”.  he slurred, raising his tiny fists up.
Laughing, I responded   “Are you kidding me, you’re like a foot high”.
“Really now” He snarled “Well you’re an Amazon”
“Now listen you little troll” I growled back
“Who you be callin a  troll” he yelled as he swiped his tiny fist in my direction.
 “Ha! You missed.”  I said, making him even more angry.”
 O’ Fatty” he hurled at me,  so I shoved him with my foot
 “ouch!” I yelled as he bit me on the shin.
 “That’s it, you Gay- per-con” I taunted
 “Gay! ya callin me Gay?” he said pounding on his wee chest.
“ Yea” I said”  Brite n gay, just like the song… you must be, you fight like a girl ,hang around all those rainbows and I’ve never seenor heard of  a girl leprechaun”.
 It was after that we began brawling on the floor.
 “That’s it !” the pub owner yelled, “out! both of you out! ”  So we found ourselves outside on the street, dusting myself off.  I said now!, now will you take me to my gold.
 Deflated, he replied “Yes lass I will, I will.”
We walked and walked, through the night, through the rain, through the valley and uphill stopping at the top just as the sun came up. There we stood there watching the most beautiful sunrise I had ever seen just then right, before us, a rainbow appeared.  My heart raced, I was soon going to have my gold, I couldn’t believe it.
 While I was gazing at the rainbow my leprechaun was puffing away on his pipe.  Soon we were engulfed in a huge cloud I couldn’t see anything, then suddenly images of Banshees, shamrocks , snakes and  Lucky charms started swirling around me.
” damn it”  I realized this was a  smokescreen , dizzily I took a step backwards and felt myself falling, then rolling, till finally my limp body  rested with a bang! Against a large stone.  shaking my head.  I was soon able to see I was right back where I had started,  the very place I had first found the leprechaun laying in a bush . Alone I staggered home. It wasn’t long before I realized no one believed me or my storey, and how could they, I had no proof no leprechaun and no gold.
I ended up with only a bit of clover in my hair, beer and smoke stains on my clothes and a tiny bite mark on my shin.
Freck-n– leprechaun

Love ya mom


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Monday, February 25, 2013

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Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Superstorm Sandy......aftermath

Misfit Island pet mom


We here in NJ and our neighbors on the east coast  really got hit hard , as I write this my thoughts are of  those who where lost and those still trying to survive.

As always with most things in life even through the worst of times there can be some humor.
So I'm including a few exerts from my diary. 

Day two of hurricane sandy . Cable and internet went out just as the storm started. Haven't seen any pictures, but the radio says its bad.The family is grateful ,we have power and are watching DVDs to pass the time.We heard they cancelled Halloween.

Three Days without TV,or internet,  running out of DVD's  and we are now turning on each other.

Mom called this morning to remind me that six days was long to be without cable. She never lost hers and was trying to be sympathetic. I informed her that I was past being grateful ,past "but others lost so much"and am now just bitter. I know, I know But i couldn't help it, I wanted TV and internet I needed to know what was going on out there.......
She then announced my father had just returned with  bus tickets to Atlantic City casino's . "Oh that's just what they need at the hurricane ravaged jersey shore I said "A bus full of old people waving quarters"."You two are gosh darn super hero's,saving the world one slot machine at a time."
 I didn't hear anything on the news ,But I could imagine the bus doors swing open, slowly they creep one by one down the steps, some toting oxygen tanks,walkers,canes some pushing wheelchairs ,but none moving fast enough to  ruffle their capes .
But they came ,these hero's, the grey and white hair brigade, with  pacemakers charged,orthopedic shoe's and alarmed pill dispenser cases. They came to do their part and save the Jersey shore with fists full of bus tokens and brandishing all you can eat buffet coupons.
and I thought...
On the statue of liberty it reads
Bring me your tired your poor,your huddled masses
send these the homeless,tempest tossed to me.
I really don't think she meant on a casino bus, from old people town.

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