Tuesday, March 5, 2013

St Patrick day story

Misfit Island pet mom


For me dear Ol’ Ma, on patty’s day.                                                

While walking home one evening I stumbled upon a leprechaun passed out in a Bush, what luck,  I thought once he sees  I’ve caught him he’ll have to give me his pot of gold.  I roused the little fella “gotcha!” I said    “I lassie that ya do indeed” he said while rubbing his brow.  “I’ll gladly take ye to me pot O’ gold, but first could ya be kind enough n let me stop at ol’ Mary’s diner for a bit of corned beef and cabbage?”.  “Why not, I said you look like you could use a bite”.  So off we went my little green gold mine and me.  Who knew a leprechaun’s could eat so much, I thought. After an hour so, I had to usher my little bank account outside so we could continue on our journey to find my gold.
We started walking again.  “Oh my dear lass” He said “I’m feelin a bit parched’ as he put his tiny hand on his throat ”would ya be mindin if we popped into this pub for a pint?, “Then will be off again. “I promise ye” he begged .
“Oh okay then, but just one”.I cautioned.  So we sat down in the crowded pub ordered two pints, when they arrived  my leprechcon raised a toast to me and my good for fortune.  Just as I leaned down to click his glass.  He jumped up to click mine and Bam!  Hit me right in the forehead.  I went down like a sack of Irish potatoes.  When I woke sometime later, I had been enlisted onto an Irish drinking team .Ding!, a bell rang and my teammate nudged me, soon pints of beer slid in front of us.  We downed them as fast as we could, one after the other.  It seemed to go on and on.  Finally, another bell ding!  We won! we won !said my little green companion. “Ye are me very own good luck charm lass. “
Guess what we won…. yup more pints. Quickly I realized I needed to unload all that beer, while I waited in the long line for the ladies room.  I started hopping around trying to hold my bladder. Unfortunately my tiny drinking buddy thought I was dancing and dragged me by my pant leg onto the dance  floor to do the Jig. Whirling and reeling around and around,  I could feel all that beer sloshing around in my stomach.  Well I had enough.  I pulled my little friend away. “ Let’s go” I said
  I fed you, paid for all these drinks now let’s go get my gold.”
“Make me”.  he slurred, raising his tiny fists up.
Laughing, I responded   “Are you kidding me, you’re like a foot high”.
“Really now” He snarled “Well you’re an Amazon”
“Now listen you little troll” I growled back
“Who you be callin a  troll” he yelled as he swiped his tiny fist in my direction.
 “Ha! You missed.”  I said, making him even more angry.”
 O’ Fatty” he hurled at me,  so I shoved him with my foot
 “ouch!” I yelled as he bit me on the shin.
 “That’s it, you Gay- per-con” I taunted
 “Gay! ya callin me Gay?” he said pounding on his wee chest.
“ Yea” I said”  Brite n gay, just like the song… you must be, you fight like a girl ,hang around all those rainbows and I’ve never seenor heard of  a girl leprechaun”.
 It was after that we began brawling on the floor.
 “That’s it !” the pub owner yelled, “out! both of you out! ”  So we found ourselves outside on the street, dusting myself off.  I said now!, now will you take me to my gold.
 Deflated, he replied “Yes lass I will, I will.”
We walked and walked, through the night, through the rain, through the valley and uphill stopping at the top just as the sun came up. There we stood there watching the most beautiful sunrise I had ever seen just then right, before us, a rainbow appeared.  My heart raced, I was soon going to have my gold, I couldn’t believe it.
 While I was gazing at the rainbow my leprechaun was puffing away on his pipe.  Soon we were engulfed in a huge cloud I couldn’t see anything, then suddenly images of Banshees, shamrocks , snakes and  Lucky charms started swirling around me.
” damn it”  I realized this was a  smokescreen , dizzily I took a step backwards and felt myself falling, then rolling, till finally my limp body  rested with a bang! Against a large stone.  shaking my head.  I was soon able to see I was right back where I had started,  the very place I had first found the leprechaun laying in a bush . Alone I staggered home. It wasn’t long before I realized no one believed me or my storey, and how could they, I had no proof no leprechaun and no gold.
I ended up with only a bit of clover in my hair, beer and smoke stains on my clothes and a tiny bite mark on my shin.
Freck-n– leprechaun

Love ya mom


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Monday, February 25, 2013

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